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Jokes
An eighteen-year-old girl
tells her mom that she has
missed her period for two
months.
Very worried, the mother
goes to the drugstore and
buys a pregnancy kit.
The test result shows
that the girl is pregnant.
Shouting, cursing,
crying, the mother says, "Who was
the pig that did this to
you? I want to know!
The girl picks up the
phone and makes a call.
Half an hour later a
Ferrari stops in front of their
house; a mature and
distinguished man with gray hair
and impeccably dressed in
a very expensive suit steps
out of it and enters the
house.
He sits in the living
room with the father, the mother
and the girl, and tells
them: "Good morning, your
daughter has informed me
of the problem. However, I
can't marry her because
of my personal family
situation, but I'll take
charge. If a girl is born I
will bequeath her 2
retail stores, a townhouse, a
beach villa and a
1,000,000 bank account. If a boy is
born, my legacy will be a
couple of factories and a
$2,000,000 bank account.
If it is twins, a factory and
$1,000,000 each.
However, if there is a
miscarriage.....
At this point, the
father, who had remained silent,
places a hand firmly on
the man's shoulder and tells
him," You'll fuck her
again!"
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A man was sick and tired of going to work
every day while his wife stayed home. He wanted her to see what he
went through so he prayed:
"Dear Lord: I go to work
every day and put in 8 hours while my wife merely stays at home. I
want her to know what I go through, so please allow her body to
switch with mine for a day. Amen". God, in his infinite
wisdom, granted the man's wish. The next morning, sure enough,
the man awoke as a woman. He arose, cooked breakfast for his mate,
awakened the kids, set out their school clothes, fed them
breakfast, packed their lunches, drove them to school, came home and
picked up the dry cleaning, took it to the cleaners and stopped at
the bank to make a deposit, went grocery shopping, then drove home to put
away the groceries, paid the bills and balanced the check book. He cleaned
the cat's litter box and bathed the dog. Then it was already 1:00PM and he
hurried to make the beds, do the laundry, vacuum, dust, and
sweep and mop the kitchen floor. Ran to the school to pick up the kids and
got into an argument with them on the way home. Set out milk and
cookies and got the kids organized to do their homework, then set up
the ironing board and watched TV while he did the ironing. At 4:30PM
he began peeling potatoes and washing vegetables for salad, breaded
the pork chops and snapped fresh beans for supper. After
supper, he cleaned the kitchen, ran the dishwasher, folded laundry,
bathed the kids, and put them to bed. At 9:00PM he was exhausted and,
though his daily chores weren't finished, he went to bed where he
was expected to make love, which he managed to get through
without complaint. The next morning, he awoke and immediately knelt by the
bed and said, "Lord, I don't know what I was thinking. I was so wrong
to envy my wife's being able to stay home all day. Please, oh
please, let us trade back". The Lord, in his infinite wisdom,
replied, "My son, I feel you have learned your lesson and I
will be happy to change things back to the way they were.
You'll just have to wait nine months, though. You got pregnant last
night".
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